Being True to Your Nature

by Kelli | Feb 1, 2018 | personal life coaching

Being True to Your Nature

It’s never too late to live life aligned with your values

Almost 12 years ago I became a certified life coach and created True Nature Life and Leadership Coaching. I called my coaching practice True Nature because I firmly believe that to be deeply fulfilled, we must live our life true to our nature, or in alignment with our natural way of being. I’ve worked with so many people who have spent most of their lives trying to be someone they are not, feeling shut down, frozen with self-doubt and wondering why the hell they are so miserable.Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who wrote a book called Top Five Regrets of the Dying, writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. Guess what the number one regret is?

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

“This was the most common regret of all” writes Ware. “When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”

What stops us from living a life aligned with what truly brings us happiness?

It’s complex, no doubt. There’s obstacles that can be challenging like where we were born or live, our upbringing, painful experiences and economics can play a role in our conditioning. But what it really gets down to is FEAR, fear of failure, not being good enough, yada, yada, yada, you know those voices. What keeps us from choosing a path of fulfillment are these insidious dis-empowering beliefs are actually running our life. They are like little dictators telling us to be this or do that or else you’ll never amount to much, no will like you because you’re a loser.

Some common examples are:
“I am just not good enough to ______,”
“I am too shy, old, young, to _______.
“I’ll never be able to make money doing _____.”
“If only I had __________, then I would be happy”

As a coach, I listen for the “I can’t, I should, I always,” statements that points to an underlying limiting belief that’s doing exactly that, limiting your life. True transformation starts first by courageously investigating this thinking process while doing our best to practice kindness towards ourselves. Compassion is super important!

Our thinking leads to behavior which creates habits and actions that determine the results.

What are the results you’re getting in life? What are the results that you want?

Could it be as simple as a old worn out pattern of thinking that we take for the truth, that’s obscuring joy, freedom and deep inner peace? What if you looked into the nature of this core dis-empowering belief and couldn’t find any proof that it was true? How might your life be different? Who would you be without this belief?

As a coach, it’s my job to explore thinking that limits and challenge who you think you are in order to uncover who you really are. Having someone by your side who doesn’t have a agenda other than holding accountable to what’s important to you and how you want to BE in this one precious life. A coaching relationship is a powerful alliance that can be life changing for both the client and coach, which is just one of the reasons I love what I do!

I basically took a break from coaching to focus on creating Dharma Ranch with my life partner Susan. It’s been two years and now that Dharma Ranch is up and running, I’m ready to once again be awed by your creativity, resourcefulness and courage.

I hold the belief that if you really recognize that the truth of who you are is so beautiful, so precious, so full of value, and so magnificent, you would devote the totality of your life to it.

For a FREE coaching session, GET IN TOUCH
Mention this blog post and receive a $50.00 discount off my monthly fee. A coaching package also includes the 2 hour “Discovery Session” that entails getting clear on your core personal values, looking at all areas of your life, where you want to go and what’s needed for this to happen. It’s super fun and enlightening!

What are you waiting for?

How to Defeat Fear

by Kelli | Jul 12, 2012 | blog, Buddhism, personal life coaching

Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave instructions for the battle.

The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, “May I have permission to go into battle with you?”

Fear said, “Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission.”

Then the young warrior said, “How can I defeat you?”

Fear replied, “My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.”
In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.

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I love this story. It points a basic Buddhist teaching of embracing not only all of our emotions and thoughts, but especially the most challenging with tenderness and compassion. The young warrior acknowledged her anger, bowed with respect and became curious by asking herself how she might defeat or “work with” the anger she was experiencing. Once she explored this, she realized the “story” or in coaching terminology, the disempowering belief that was holding her hostage, keeping her stuck and feeling small. She learned how to defeat fear by staying with the feeling of fear and not believing or identifying with it. Making the fear all about her or who she is.

There’s a powerful tool called R.A.I.N. that has been getting a lot of attention lately in the world of psychology and Buddhist practice.
The acronym stands for

R – Recognize
A- Allow
I- Investigate
N- Non- Identify

This is basically what happens in the above fable.

Leap and the Net Will Appear

by Kelli | Jul 11, 2012 | blog, personal life coaching

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